[ Thoughts ]

Stupid things parents say and the comebacks we wished we had

Parents say the craziest things. Like a fine wine, some witty sayings are passed down from generation to generation. If you ever find yourself quoting your parents to your children, you will realize that in fact your parents might have been really cool people once too.

Here are some of my favourite ‘parentisms’ (Yes I think I made that word up), and the response I wish I had the guts to say but I didn’t.

Watch your mouth!
How? By looking in a mirror?

If you kill yourself on that thing, don’t come running to me!
How? I’ll be dead.

This is going to hurt me more than it will you. 
Then let me trade places!

If everybody jumped off the Empire Building, would you join them?
Probably not, I’m afraid of heights and don’t want to die.

Please use your inside voice. 
What’s the difference, it’s still me talking.

Or, why is it that when you trip over something or bump your noggin, someone says, “Oh, be careful.”… 
Gee, where were you a moment before that happened dad?

So, I could care less.
…um, what? You mean you actually care about this and it would be possible for me to make you care less by arguing further? It’s couldn’t! Couldn’t! You’ve reversed the meaning of a fairly clear phrase and made it vague, stripped all meaning from it! Agh!

Don’t worry about it.
Yeah ok. I’ll just stop.

I wasn’t born yesterday.
Really? I could have sworn you were one of those rare, 6’2″ infants with facial hair.

I don’t know what he sees in her 
How can you, unless you’re him?

Ok, it’s your turn….

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