
50 Things I Learned From Watching Planes, Trains & Automobiles
Here is a list of 50 things I learned from watching this great movie.
- Don’t throw away your rental agreement the next time you get stranded in a rental lot and my only way back is to walk down a freeway and runway.
- Pull your car over, before trying to take your coat off.
- If you decide to throw your cigarette out the window of the car, make sure that it actually does leave the car, or better yet, use the ashtray.
- When you spend the night at a motel and you want to take a shower, check out the shower first to find out how it works, or you might end up with soap all over your face and no more water.
- People will go out of their way to help you lug around a giant trunk.
- If you ever have loads of shower curtain rings and have no money, sell them all off as earings.
- If you let someone pay for everything, you feel like a freeloader.
- Lawyers are thieves (well, I guess we didn’t really learn anything there).
- If you’ve purchased a first-class airline ticket and are assigned to row, it’s unlikely you’ve been seated in first-class (how many rows of first-class do you think there could possibly be)?
- If you’re driving a 1986 Dodge 600 ES Turbo and it catches on fire, your radio will be fireproof and will actually work better afterwards.
- A freshly made bed in a motel will look like a queen size when you first enter the room, but in the morning you’ll realize it was only a double.
- It is possible to buy pyjamas that will clash with every fabric pattern you share a room with.
- The cast of Family Ties was on the cover of Us Magazine sometime in 1986/1987.
- Grace, the secretary of Ferris Bueller’s high school, has lost her job and is now a customer service agent for Marathon Car Rental.
- If you fall in front of a moving vehicle, it will stop right before hitting your head.
- Never, under no circumstances, NEVER put your hands in between two pillows.
- It’s possible to have a baby come out sideways where the mom don’t scream or nothin.’
- The theme song to Flintstones will go over better in a karaoke bar better than 3 Coins In A Fountain.
- Just because people don’t know your destination doesn’t mean they can’t tell you’re going the wrong way.
- $2.00 and a Casio won’t get you a hotel room…no matter how well you display the watch.
- Paying for a hotel room with cash ensures you will not get caught if you back into the building with your car.
- Wearing shower curtain rings as earrings may grant you access to bars even if you are underage.
- If it seems awfully easy to hail a cab in NYC there is probably a very good chance it was someone else’s cab.
- Even though you have just squeezed your car between two oncoming 18-wheelers the consequent dents and gouges can be buffed right out.
- Make sure to remove your wallet from the glove compartment just in case the car is to catch fire
- It’s a dang rare thing these days to find someone who’s proud of their town.
- After an accident, it’s ok to “laugh because we’re alright now!”
- A tie will make a poor ear warmer when walking across the tarmac.
- Always call for a room first, NOT your wife to say you are in Witchita.
- It is better to get a noogie than an Indian burn.
- During Thanksgiving, you should always end phone conversations with gobble gobble.
- Always have a friend vouch for you when you’ve worn the same underwear since Tuesday in order to get a motel room.
- When losing control of a car and awakening your passenger, tell him we almost hit a deer to smooth things over.
- Sitting in the seat of a burned up car makes you feel like a big whopper.
- Taking a picture makes it last longer.
- You have more of a chance finding a three-legged ballerina than you do a hotel room when there’s a storm in Witchita…
- Lugging a trunk around New York City seems to be harder than anywhere else.
- Holding tightly onto a dashboard will cause your fingers to sink into the dashboard.
- Breaking something can be always blamed on faulty engineering.
- Even though the discount cards are still honoured at the motel, you’ll have to be-be charged for a double…but with the discount, it’ll work out about even.
- Selling shower curtain rings to people ensures they owe you a favour.
- If you’re willing to pay 10.00 for a cab, you’re willing to pay 50.00….75.00…
- Never lose possession of your Diner’s Club Card
- Casio watches draped seductively over your arm are not considered good enough for a room at a crappy motel which is probably empty anyway over Thanksgiving.
- Like your work, love your wife.
- You can’t rent a car with shower curtain rings.
- You can’t rent a motel room with a Chalmer’s Big & Tall credit card.
- Just go with the flow, like a twig on the shoulder of a mighty stream.
- Casio watches don’t work as currency. You need a good watch for that.
- And finally…. Like your job, Love your wife.
Did I miss anything? If so feel free to add to the list.